Risk a Read | “Neglecting Strength” | A Poem by Me

Risk a ReadI wasn’t exactly sure whether or not to share this, because I thought that the things people write are very personal and they seem to be very brave if they choose to share it with others. So, I thought about it more and more and decided that I would share this little piece of myself with all of you. This is my first try at writing a poem and I would greatly appreciate some constructive criticism. Well here it is! I’m crossing my fingers!

“Neglecting Strength” by Rin (or myself)

tick tock

infusing with his mind, closing on his soul
a mind with no control
drastic is the bridge that broke
the water that flooded the barriers of benignity


shards of glass that created his sky,


and so the deranged thoughts became his entity, his new identity.
mind filled with iniquity
his crazed thoughts ruining his empathy,
his pneuma

–his world filled with overbearing satisfaction for the grim
piled in their haste to escape the cage
the last fall; it has cracked
fortitude lost, audacity weakened

tick tock, tick tock

it seeps in, consuming
his entire being

Meaning of “Neglecting Strength”

I will be honest here and say that the message that I was originally going for did not really come through as clear as I had hoped. The story of the poem or what was physically or in this case mentally happening was that a person gave up on strength. Whoever this was no longer believed that staying strong, they let it go and forgot about it. This leads to losing themselves in the insanity that they were originally trying to fight.

Yet, the inside meaning of the poem was that you should never give up on staying strong, because the second you let go, you will become consumed by what you were trying very hard to fight.

Inspired by

A deck of cards, time (example: the clock), and being consumed by something. Whether by fear, happiness, sadness, excitement, etc.

note: If any of you have any comments or advice and constructive criticism, I would love to hear them down below!

LineComments? Share and Comment below!



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s